Experience the Present

The Gestalt Theory consists of many different key points such as self regulation, holism, unfinished business and contact or no contact with other people and the environment, but there is one idea that surrounds the rest.  Phenomenological Inquiry is the process of focusing on the now.  What is being experienced and why it is being experienced.  This awareness of the self in relation to the environment in the present, is one of the main goals of Gestalt Therapy.  The implementation of "experiments" or "exercises" are important in Gestalt therapy to "help the client gain fuller awareness, experience internal conflicts, resolve inconsistencies and dichotomies, and work through an impasse that is preventing completion of unfinished business."   The following are a few that are interesting to try.

The Empty Chair Technique:

        Do you feel that struggle of the "good and evil" in you?  The battle of the "top dog" and "under dog" perhaps.  Try placing two empty chairs face to face.  Sit in one chair and take full ownership of one side of the argument.  Be in the moment and fully express what that specific one side alone is trying to express.  Now switch chairs and fully own the opposite side of the battle.  Now is it a little clearer?  When there is a battle going on in our head, sometimes thoughts get jumbled and sides do not get taken which always ends in no results but more confusion.  Placing the chairs out forces the thoughts outside of yourself and exaggerates the sides and points being made.  This helps you to be more aware of what is really going on and the feelings that are being experienced in the present.  

The Reversal Exercise:

        Being human consists of feeling joy and anger, being kind and sometimes being quite stubborn; however, sometimes, we disown parts of ourselves.  The title "pushover" does not have a positive connotation that follows it and those who have this title may benefit from an experiment such as this.  Try reversing the dominate side of yourself.  A kind, sweet, willing soul that has a hard time saying no may need to bring out the more selfish side to live a healthy life.  Learn to say no out loud and talk about all of the great things that you would do to benefit yourself before you help someone else.  Now, if this reversal way of thinking began to control your life, it obviously would not be very healthy; however, if done once with enough gusto, the acceptance of this side of you may develop and help to balance out the dominate side that hinders.  


Dream Work:
        Dreams are so vivid sometimes that you wake up in a panic thankful that they are over, or sad that your no longer asleep and closing your eyes so tight that you hope you can jump back in to where you left off.  Well what if the dream really means something.  In Gestalt Therapy, it is believed that "each part of a dream is assumed to be a projection of the self, and the client creates scripts for encounters between the various characters or parts."  It is encouraged to act the dream out as if it were in the present; every part of the dream weather that be a person or an object.  This helps to expose truth to the message about a current struggle taking place in reality.  Much sense is made out of dreams through this exercise but you must be very careful with how far you want to take it.

I once heard the saying, 

"It is okay to think about the past and dream about the future, but you must live in the present." 

 Confront yourself with where you mind truly lies and in celebration of the Gestalt theory, begin to help yourself become more aware of your experiences in the present.  Live in the here and now.   

Corey, G. (2009). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

    ~ ~        ~ ~

 ~ love is risky ~

~ living is risky ~

    ~ be risky ~

         -Ash 

           ~

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Therapies: Psychoanalytic vs. Adlerian vs. Existential

Confrontation is something that every person must go through during life.  Even the Evil Queen in Snow 

White was told that she was not the "fairest of them all!"  In Psychoanalytic Therapy, Adlerian 

Therapy, and Existential Therapy, each applying a very different theory, confrontation is used at some level to 

assist the client in seeing a different reality about themselves and the world that surrounds them.  

Psychoanalytic Therapy

• the therapist is a blank-screen
• this confronts the client to speak on their own and allows the unspoken to be spoken
• try free association sometime, it is amazing what will be said out loud
• therapist points out meanings of pattern recognized in the clients life and brings the unconscious conscious
• the pattern expressed in the client is confronting the clients traditional perspective
• try taking a deeper look at your dreams and past experiences/memories to see what deeper meaning lies beneath
• buttons are pushed to see how the client will react/which way the client will take the idea
• this confrontation forces some clients to agree with everything, and others to argue it all
• take some time to really analyze and question how you handle different situations or things that others pin on you

Adlerian Therapy

• the therapist guides the clients path
• this confronts the clients boundaries and pushes the edges
• try allowing yourself to step out of the boundaries and maybe feel things that you have hoped to suppress
• focuses on the history of the client and inferiority issues
• these historical fact are reverberated back to the client to confront their original thoughts about situations/dynamics 
• try thinking of 3 of your earliest vivid memories and find a connection or a theme that may explain bits of who you are today
• challenges the client to change
• the client in confronted with the idea that something needs to be changed in their life and they need to make it happen
• use behavior modification to change an unwanted behavior or increase a wanted behavior (it is tough but will be beneficial in the long run)

Existential Therapy

• confronts anxieties
• the client is confronted with known and unknown anxieties 
• when do you feel most stressed out or anxious?  figure the specifics out then you can work on lowering these levels of anxiety 
• redefine self and the world by gaining self-awareness
• confronts the clients perspective and identity issues
• think back on who you have been, who you are, and who you want to be; are these all the same
• take action
• the client is confronted with a challenge
• confront your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors; take hold; take action

As you can see, there are many different ways to go about searching yourself and figuring out who you are and what you are all about.  So next time you are in front of that reflective thing that you don't always want to look at, try saying...

"mirror mirror on the wall, what sides of me do you see?  Please show me 

them all."

Reflect upon the reflection.

    ~ ~        ~ ~

 ~ love is risky ~

~ living is risky ~

    ~ be risky ~

         -Ash 

           ~

Corey, G. (2009). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.

You Live and You Learn

Alfred Adler, the man who emphasized inferiority, 

birth order, and social interests, created a theory so rightly called 

the Adlerian Theory.  Therapy that stems from this theory is 

focused on history of the client such as their birth order, early 

childhood memories, and family dynamics.  The therapy also 

challenges the client to behavioral changes and allows the client to 

move forward on their own path and at their own pace, while the 

therapist is nothing more than guiding the way.

In relation to Adlerian Psychology, Mosak and Maniacci lists "FIVE BASIC MISTAKES" that people make while living their life.  The following are these five mistakes and examples of each so you can be sure not to make the same mistakes as everyone else in the world... "everyone else" brings me to number 1.

1. Overgeneralizations: When a teenager asks their parents so very sweetly if they can go out with their friends for an awesome party and their parents say no,  then there is usually a comback to some degree of, "but why?!  Everyone is going to be there except me!  I will be the only one in the world sitting at home with my boring parents while everyone is having fun without me!  Nothing in this house is ever fair!"  Talk about some overgenerlizations.  Sometimes a step back will help to see the reality young one.

2. False or Impossible Goals of Security: People will go to crazy lengths just to feel loved.  An adult woman with an average pay check my tell herself that if she always has the newest and best thing then she will be loved by her friends and family.  Because of this she strives for the best clothes, newest technological products, and even a "perfect" body.  These goals set to obtain love are not realistic.  All it leads to is bankruptcy, health issues, and depression.  The only thing to love her back is her poodle in her purse. 

3. Misperceptions of Life and Life's Demands: When life comes at your hard, it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes we believe that things are impossible in our life and that alone we can not make it through things.  But we are a lot stronger than we give credit for and a little positivity and confidence goes a long way when it seems like there is no way to go. 

4. Minimization or Denial of One's Basic Worth: This is where low self esteem rules the school.  A high school boy may have the best street smarts in the world but not be able to get good grades.  Because of this he will think to himself, "I suck and am not good at anything. I will never get a job and never find a wife.  Someone wouldn't want to love such a stupid person like me."  This is obviously wrong!  There are so many factors that goes into a persons worth and one little thing like a grade will never change the ability for someone "just to love and be loved in return," (which is the greatest lesson you will ever learn).

5. Faulty Values: Careers can take over lives for sure, but so can the process of getting there.  Some may have such a drive and determination that they have to reach the top and not let a single person or even a single thought stop them or get in their way.  All they care about is the ending result and they do not care who they hurt in the process.  These values are skewed and twisted.  Life only happens once, and plowing through while loosing relationships is a crappy way to live it. 

I hope that these Basic Mistakes do not rule your life or mine.  

    ~ ~        ~ ~

 ~ love is risky ~

~ living is risky ~

    ~ be risky ~

         -Ash 

           ~