You Live and You Learn

Alfred Adler, the man who emphasized inferiority, 

birth order, and social interests, created a theory so rightly called 

the Adlerian Theory.  Therapy that stems from this theory is 

focused on history of the client such as their birth order, early 

childhood memories, and family dynamics.  The therapy also 

challenges the client to behavioral changes and allows the client to 

move forward on their own path and at their own pace, while the 

therapist is nothing more than guiding the way.

In relation to Adlerian Psychology, Mosak and Maniacci lists "FIVE BASIC MISTAKES" that people make while living their life.  The following are these five mistakes and examples of each so you can be sure not to make the same mistakes as everyone else in the world... "everyone else" brings me to number 1.

1. Overgeneralizations: When a teenager asks their parents so very sweetly if they can go out with their friends for an awesome party and their parents say no,  then there is usually a comback to some degree of, "but why?!  Everyone is going to be there except me!  I will be the only one in the world sitting at home with my boring parents while everyone is having fun without me!  Nothing in this house is ever fair!"  Talk about some overgenerlizations.  Sometimes a step back will help to see the reality young one.

2. False or Impossible Goals of Security: People will go to crazy lengths just to feel loved.  An adult woman with an average pay check my tell herself that if she always has the newest and best thing then she will be loved by her friends and family.  Because of this she strives for the best clothes, newest technological products, and even a "perfect" body.  These goals set to obtain love are not realistic.  All it leads to is bankruptcy, health issues, and depression.  The only thing to love her back is her poodle in her purse. 

3. Misperceptions of Life and Life's Demands: When life comes at your hard, it is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes we believe that things are impossible in our life and that alone we can not make it through things.  But we are a lot stronger than we give credit for and a little positivity and confidence goes a long way when it seems like there is no way to go. 

4. Minimization or Denial of One's Basic Worth: This is where low self esteem rules the school.  A high school boy may have the best street smarts in the world but not be able to get good grades.  Because of this he will think to himself, "I suck and am not good at anything. I will never get a job and never find a wife.  Someone wouldn't want to love such a stupid person like me."  This is obviously wrong!  There are so many factors that goes into a persons worth and one little thing like a grade will never change the ability for someone "just to love and be loved in return," (which is the greatest lesson you will ever learn).

5. Faulty Values: Careers can take over lives for sure, but so can the process of getting there.  Some may have such a drive and determination that they have to reach the top and not let a single person or even a single thought stop them or get in their way.  All they care about is the ending result and they do not care who they hurt in the process.  These values are skewed and twisted.  Life only happens once, and plowing through while loosing relationships is a crappy way to live it. 

I hope that these Basic Mistakes do not rule your life or mine.  

    ~ ~        ~ ~

 ~ love is risky ~

~ living is risky ~

    ~ be risky ~

         -Ash 

           ~